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Saucy Tales Pt. 1

 

Written by – Jennifer Harbaugh  (ARCHIVES: http://www.thekmfp.com/awkward/)

This is a cautionary tale to any woman who wants to be in the fantastic business we call pizza. I have had many interesting stories being a Domino’s Pizza delivery woman and some were just plain creepy. At the time I made $6.00/hour and worked on tips. I was in my last semester of college and really needed the easy money.

ST1It was a great mind-numbing job that helped me get to the place I am now, but I would never want to go back.

My very first order that I had delivered left me a little confused. I drove to a nice neighborhood that was surrounded by apartments and trailers, so maybe this should have been a clear indicator that it would be a little different. I knocked on the door and it opened to a good looking 45+ woman.

That doesn’t sound too bad, but she was also only wearing a very short, pink, silk robe with fuzzy high heels. The robe was barely covering her lady goods and didn’t leave much to the imagination. It was like something out of a bad teen movie like American Pie.

Her doe eyes rested on mine, “I thought Jason was delivering the pizza”, she inquired innocently. “That is what it said on the pizza tracker.”

The overwhelming scent of vanilla was rolling off of her in waves.

I had trouble looking at her and concentrated on getting her food out of the heat bag, “Sorry, we were busy, so they sent me.”

She seductively replied, “Too bad, here is your tip.” She handed me five dollars. I basically ran back to my car with a face that looked like I just ate a lemon. That was the first time someone was upset that I was a woman.

I had an order that was placed by a woman who was about 23 years old. I usually knew how much money they would tip by glancing at their front yard. Trash and bikes everywhere indicated that you were getting less than two dollars.

This lady’s front yard was a hot mess and a broken front window added to the ambiance.

Taking in a deep breath I stepped out of my car and approached the grungy door. It took five knocks before the woman came to the door. She wore a VERY low spaghetti strap and I almost saw her goodies. Again, it was hard to look at her, so I concentrated on getting her food out of the bag when I rambled off the total.

Sorry, I should have gotten the money ready ahead of time.”

ST2She ran off to find some money. I stood there awkwardly waiting for her to come back. Before she came back with the exact change (no tip!) her two boys ran to the door. It would be a cute story if the boys were not buck a** naked!

They were well beyond the acceptable naked toddler years. I am talking about 8-9 years old.

It didn’t seem to bother the young mother that her boys were naked in front of a complete stranger or the fact that the complete stranger thought she was a mental case. It was disturbing and I hoped that there was some sort of normalcy in their lives.

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