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Fear of the Unknown


Written by – TJ Aguilera  (PROFILE/BIO:

Throughout life we meet many people who inspire us emotionally; provoking and instilling thoughts of future possibilities together.

FU1There are times that this happens with others we meet where sadly we come to think they are too far away in distance to further pursue. You meet, it sparks, you have a good time together, and then life goes back to your normal routine.

This may be a summer fling, someone you met on a business trip, maybe while in the military meeting a native resident in another country when deployed, or even on vacation.

The fairness is NONE.

Of all the available prospects in the world, amongst the millions, the one that you just so happen to find to be a suitable match ends of being inconvenient to how your life is structured – AT THAT MOMENT IN TIME.

We have obligations we assume cannot be adjusted to move forward with the person such as your career and children, maybe even your education. The costs of travel to maintain that relationship can become financially consuming. Taking off work is difficult being most are only granted a certain amount of earned vacation time. Time spent with your children may be altered to go out of town to visit the person of interest.

Your efforts put forth to arrange your visits can be stressful. It’s demanding to make time for each other.

When you finally get to see each other your time is blissful. When you leave each other it’s despairingly heartbreaking not knowing when you’ll see each other again.

It could end up failing unless one of you uproot your life or make changes to keep being a significant part of each other’s.

Do we really have to be stuck with the people within our own city to choose from when the options are limitless across your state, your region, hell the whole country??

Unfortunately for most, their analysis of that would be a disturbing YES.

So one must ask – What is the purpose that this wonderful person was put into your life, just so you can be disheartened that it seems impossible to make it “happen”?

FU2The only answer I can come up with to this ponder is to make you think about your direction in life and what is important to you, and what you are willing to sacrifice for another to join together on the possibility of solely a WHAT IF basis.

WHAT IF you can’t find a job when if you move by them?

WHAT IF this compromises the quality development with your children?

WHAT IF it just flat doesn’t work out?

Are you willing to take these risks on a “WHAT IF”?

Well I’m here to tell you; there’s a gamble taken with any relationship you encounter. There is always the UNKNOWN. That’s with anything in life you strive for regardless how to plot and plan your future endeavors.

So WHY NOT go for it? WHY NOT try it out?

We should go for ALL THINGS in life we feel will make us happy.

WHAT IF you regret NOT trying?

REGRET is part of the UNKNOWN. Living with regret can be worse than heartbreak.

We may have answers to the previous question — What is the purpose that this wonderful person was put into your life, just so you can be disheartened that it seems impossible to make it “happen”?

WHAT IF the purpose was for something greater in life, and meeting that person was the stepping stone to get you there?

WHAT IF your dream job awaits you?

WHAT IF the school system in another area offers more opportunity for your child’s future?

WHAT IF it wasn’t supposed to last after all, but that relationship was the beginning of your unknown destiny to get you where you needed to be?

WHAT IF you never know?

Can you live with regretting the unknown of what you may be missing out on?

It’s all quite unpredictable. That’s the risk. But in all reality, you take the same risk with those you have relationships with in your own zip code.

You can’t predict if they’ll die on you and you’re stuck with a mortgage and children you cannot afford to take care of on your own.

You can’t predict if they’ll cheat on you and leave you high and dry.

FU3You can’t predict if the company you work for in your current city for will lay you off.

We are only human, and despite the geographic area individuals reside, we all fear the ongoing list of what if’s and unknowns of the exact same things regarding relationships.

So sometimes it’s ok to take a chance on the unknown with people. If you don’t, you may regret missing the opportunities in life you didn’t even know existed – Those that you are yet to know.


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